Corporate Black Gurl... Revealed
I can’t believe my brand is a year old today! To sit here and think about how much I’ve grown as a person and how my brand is making its way in just one year is... humbling. I truly appreciate all of your support, and it warms my heart to get so many messages/correspondences about how I’ve inspired you gems as much as you’ve inspired me. After all, that’s the ultimate goal of the brand. To heal, grow, and be inspired together.
It’s been a while since I’ve blogged and I have to admit, it was on purpose. Since my 28th birthday, I’ve been going through what I’d call “self realization & transformation.” I broke up with the man I thought would be my husband one day, started writing daily affirmations, and promised myself to do whatever makes me happy. For the first time in my life I feel free, and I can honestly say that I’ve finally started to see my value as a human being and as a woman. I’m still working to achieve the level of “Jada Pinkett-Smith freedom and self worth” but even she said it takes time.
I’ve spent so much of my life doing for others that I reached a point of totally neglecting myself and didn’t even know it. Don’t get me wrong, my soul is filled by doing for others—that’s just how I’m built. However, I was doing for EVERYONE rather than doing for those that deserved it (from me). I had become drained, like SO drained. I didn’t have a choice but to become self-ish. Being self-ish helped me to recharge and start moving in my purpose.
(Now, I’m not condoning breaking up with your boyfriend in order to fully learn and appreciate yourself and do what’s best for you—but I am saying that it’s important to have “me time” whether you’re single or not.)
So many conversations and lessons learned in the past 5 months, and I couldn’t be more thankful. My intuition is at an all time high, and believe it or not... I’ve said “no” to people and certain situations (that’s huge). I took my first trip out of the country, and have been boldly branding myself. My energy is so different now (positive) and I make it a point to protect it at all costs.
Although I’ve learned so many things about life and myself in these past months, there are a few that I feel helped me the most.
Listen to your “blunt” friend(s). My mom has never been wrong about a person or situation. Now, her delivery is crazy at times and I don’t want to hear it, but what she says is true nonetheless. Viv has literally become my best friend and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s SO important to have someone you trust as an accountability partner. Someone who’ll give it to you straight, and genuinely cares about your growth and overall well being. My crew also holds me accountable, no matter how stubborn I can be and I do the same for them. Yes men and women will stunt your growth. Get you some real friends!
It’s OK to be self-ish. “Self-ish”, like “Black-ish” get it? Lol, I’m corny what’s new? No but seriously, whether you’re a girlfriend, wife, mother, working woman, or a combination of two or more of those things, you must schedule time to do something that allows you to recharge and/or better yourself. Whether its meditation, creating your monthly budget, goal setting, working out, yoga, reading, spa day or catching the latest Love & Hip Hop— if it’s good for your mental and/or self improvement do it!
It’s OK to not be OK. I struggled with this for a long time. Being the strong one that everyone counts on, I felt like I ALWAYS had to “have it together” even when I didn’t. Well, it’s OK to not be OK, doll. Everyone goes through things. Just don’t allow the situation to keep you down. Acting as if things are OK when they’re not can eventually take a toll on you. Cry, yell, talk it out, or write it down—but make sure you deal with whatever it is that’s bothering you, remove what needs to be removed, get yourself together, and continue to shine.
Positive vibes only. This is not just a quote, it’s a gospel. The company you keep and the conversations you have absolutely have an impact. “Don’t get the winner’s circle mixed up with the popular circle.” They are not the same. If I have learned nothing else, I’ve learned that the people around you have a lot to do with your mindset/decisions, mental stability, and in some cases—your success. Stick with those who have a like mind. Keep toxic and negative people a far. Toxicity can hinder good things from happening, and/or cause you to become the same. Everyone is not meant to grow with you, regardless of how much you love them. Trust your intuition and act accordingly.
Run your own race & celebrate the small victories. When you focus on yourself and being the best YOU, you focus less on outside distractions. Societal stigmas, etc. will no longer matter, and you become concerned with yourself. Your light begins to shine brighter and you realize that your only competition is the person in the mirror. Don’t be too hard on yourself though (I’m still working on this). Remember to celebrate the small victories. An accomplishment is an accomplishment and it’s OK to acknowledge yours, so long as you don’t lose sight on your ultimate goal(s) and vision. Shoot for the stars, but be sure to acknowledge each cloud along the way (I came up with that myself). Also, stay true to yourself.
You have one life to live, so you might as well do what makes you happy (but use your brain), and be the best version of yourself possible. I thank God, my family & friends, and my supporters for sticking with me through my stubbornness and growth. That’s what life’s about right? Love, happiness, growth, and living out your purpose. Have you taken time to be self-ish lately?
What is one thing you’ve learned this year thus far that’s helped you to be a better you?
Comment below, I wanna know!