New Year, Same Me.
Yes, you read that correctly. And in the words of NeNe Leakes, “I said what I said.” Happy New Year! Lol. Today is January 1st. The day of each year that most of us make decisions to change different aspects of our being. “Out with the old me, in with the new me.” Right? I’m sure you’ve already stated that in 2018 you’re going to stop being so nice and giving because you’re tired of the lack of reciprocation. You’ve probably even adopted the term “savage” and have set your mind on acting more savagely in the new year. You’re fed up, I get it. But have you noticed that you have that same desire/goal every year, and every year you fall into the same mode of still giving, and still being too nice? Maybe it’s not you.
We’re told to “self-reflect”, and you should. I preach the same sermon. Self-reflection is key. However, it’s not often mentioned that reflection also entails recognizing the things that affect you that you can’t change. Like other people and certain situations. This year I did some reflecting of my own (as I always do), and the light bulb went off. I don’t need to change who I am as a person or how I move. I instead need to be wary and conscious of who I allow in my space. Truth is, my giving, loving and loyal nature is embedded. That will never change no matter how hard I try. I can’t just stop being a good person, and I shouldn’t. It's how I’m built. What I can do though, is pay closer attention to my intuition and ask the good Lord above to strengthen my ability to discern.
In 2016, honey I was drained. All of my energy was sucked out of me; I was parched. In 2017, I became more aware and realized that those gut-wrenching feelings (also known as intuition) that randomly occurred intended to tell me something. That something was “This probably isn’t a good idea, sis.” (No, I’m not leaving “sis” in 2017). I’m a giver. I give time, energy, knowledge, money… you name it. If I have it, I give it. I also believe that I can (and should) help and be there for people no matter what. If you need me, I’m there. No questions asked. That's just who I am. I’m blessed so that I can be a blessing to others. But if I’m constantly feeding into folks and not being fed in return where does that leave me? Exhausted as hell. With no energy left to take care of my own damn business. Not a good feeling, huh? Then it hit me. The issue isn't that I'm giving and helpful, it’s that I’m doing the right things for the wrong people. That my friend, is why you should only give your time and energy to those who are worthy. (You should also practice the art of saying “no”, if you don't already.) I’ve finally realized and accepted that I can’t save the world and every person who asks doesn’t deserve to be helped, by me.
A lot of us forget, but the vetting process before establishing any type of relationship is imperative. Vetting can actually minimize unfulfilling relationships, friendships, and business decisions. Be certain that every individual you have and let in your life in 2018 makes the cut. Everybody doesn’t deserve you. So as you’re doing your “New Year’s Day purge” and thinking of all the things you want to change moving forward, consider whether you need to change you, or if you need refocus who and what you give yourself to. I sure have.
In 2018: It’s not me, it’s you.
I wish you all a prosperous new year filled with love. Live your best life!